Hi there. Today, I will do my very best to make a great first impression: My name is Garry and I’m unemployed. I failed.
But don’t worry, it’s not like I don’t have a plan on how to change that. In fact, lately I have been touring open mic sessions, pretending to have a “stand-up comedy set”, when in fact I am presenting the people there with a number of reasons why they should hire me. It has not worked to date, but I am positive that it will at some point.
The other thing I am doing lately to keep myself busy is coming up with new hobbies. The other week I started performing street-magic for the homeless, which is very rewarding. I do cards tricks and they love that. I do some rope-magic and they love that. Then I make their coins dissapear and they hate that. But I am a fast runner, so it’s okay.
What else? Except being the reverse Robin Hood (you might call me Robbing Hood aye!), I have now started a challenge where I don’t shave until I have a job. Not that it would make any difference to my face, but it creates the illusion of inherent will-power in my early morning routine.
Of course, you might be asking why I have no job. Well, not to spoil a later text, but I tried to teach my parents a lesson. It did not go well.